My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
