talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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