like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
