i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
