Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
