Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
