I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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