HIV tests are more positive than that guy
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
