Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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