38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
