it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
