It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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