You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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