How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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