you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
