took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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