Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
