keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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