He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
