The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
