I just made out with a guy for $7.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
