trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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