And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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