My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
