Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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