The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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