She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
