her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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