i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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