They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
