It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
