I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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