i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
