So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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