We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
