in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
