we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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