shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
