Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
