We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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