My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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