Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
