You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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