is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
