i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
