How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
