We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
