i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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