she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
