Don't you send me to vm
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
