She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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