you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
